Introduction
The problem of domestic violence has always been a great problem in society. Generally domestic violence is a repeated physical and verbal abuse, in order for one person to control the other. Divorce, injuries, incarceration, psychological effects and homelessness are a few of the consequences that result from domestic violence. Domestic violence includes many types, but regardless of the type the main point is that “An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” (HelpGuide, 2008b). The scale of the problem can be seen through the estimation of the American Medical Association, where it states that “over four million women are victims of severe assault by boyfriends and husbands each year; about one in four women are likely to be abused by their partner in their lifetime; about three to ten million children are exposed to domestic violence every year and that exposure has negative impact on their development.” Additionally, the studies show that “forty to sixty percent of men who abuse women also abuse children.”(Hope Foundation, 2008). Thus, domestic violence is a dangerous phenomenon that requires intervention. In this paper, domestic violence will be analyzed, proposing that the only way to stop domestic violence is to terminate the relationship and rely on external help.
Overview
Domestic violence is a situation or situation in which one person controls or tries to control the behavior and feelings of another person. In family violence, as the most frequent category, there are more specific categories established by the nature of relations between the offender and a victim, and also conditions of their life. For example:
- Abusing children;
- Violence directed toward the spouse or the partner;
- Violence toward the elderly;
There are a lot of myths and stereotypes about the problem of domestic violence. The myths might include the representations of the appearance and the social status of the women who are exposed to violence. In general, the violence exists in all social groups, irrespective of their income, education, gender, or position in the society (HelpGuide, 2008b). The violence occurs without consideration toward the feeling of the partner, and although mostly the violence occurs in heterosexual families, gay relationships suffer from domestic violence too.
As a rule, the violence in a family is characterized by several aspects. If the physical violence already happened, every consequent time, usually the frequency of its repetition and the cruelty increases. Also, the violence and the offensive behavior alternate with promises to change and apologies by the offender. Additionally, when trying to break the relationship, there is an increase of danger to the victim. The violence in the family occurs in any layers and categories of the population, and without consideration to class, racial, cultural, religious, social and economic aspects.
Domestic violence takes many forms, especially when it concerns partners living together. The violence in a family frequently occurs as a combination of physical, sexual andor emotional violence. Some examples of a cruel treatment that could be categorized as violence are given below. This list includes models of behavior and actions, which are considered violent and offensive.
Physical violence:
- Throwing objects
- Threatening with a weapon
- Humiliation
- Physically interfering when attempting to leave the house
- Locking indoors
- Interfering when asking for medical help
- Destroys the property.
- Offends children
Additionally, sexual violence might include rape, violent sexual intercourse, treatment as a sexual object, and undressing the partner against hisher will. According to the National Coalition against Domestic Violence, between one-third and one-half of all battered women are raped by their partners at least once during their relationship (HelpGuide, 2008b).
In that regard, when looking at the women of the past, it can be assumed that they suffered more, as there were no social organizations to which the victim can appeal. In this modern era, the situation is a little better with the emergence of the various organizations devoted to such problems. Nevertheless, sometimes the victim might stay in an abusive relationship for years without asking for help. The reason why women stay with an abusive partner can be explained by the same reasons why the cycle of violence is difficult to break. The reason might lie in the dependence, psychological or economic, the children, the fear of not having another relationship due to low self-esteem, and others. Some victims might experience shame in sharing their experiences with their friends and relatives. The most dangerous reason might the repeated violence, where the partner might feel that heshe is having a normal family life just because, the other partner is normal, in periods when violence does not occur. The threat can be seen in the fact that such relations might last for years, if not decades, at the end of which the victim would be broken emotionally and psychologically. Accordingly, substance abuse might contribute to family violence in several ways, among which the abused might be using different substances in order to lose the perception of reality. For example, the husband might be abusing substances before abusing his family. Abusing substances might a factor in not breaking the cycle of violence, where the woman would convince herself that he might return to being normal when he stops drinking or using substances.
Proposed Solution
Dealing with the violence alone might not be a good idea, as the offender might inflict additional abuse when sensing resistance. Accordingly, the best way is to seek help from the outside. This help might be through the hotlines that are provided by The National Domestic Violence Hotline, where people will inform the victim how to best react to the domestic violence, and what is most important leave immediately if the incidents were repeated. Replying to the arguments that advise trying to deal with the violence without leaving , it was stated earlier that such relations might last for years without changes.
Additional, advice is documenting the abuse. The charges for the domestic violence are serious, where in addition to a criminal record, the court might provide a restraining order. Instances of violence should always be taken seriously, even if there is no physical evidence of assault (Washington Domestic Violence Attorneys, 2009). Other solutions to protect oneself from violence include steps on how to react to violence. The steps are: Know the abuser’s red signs, i.e. be alert and leave the place before the situation gets more violent. Discover safe and sound parts of the house, i.e. having a safe place to hide when violence occurs. Be ready to depart at a moment’s observation, e.g. keeping a fueled car unlocked at the driver’s seat and a key to get into the car and drive immediately. Also keep emergency cash, clothes, important phone numbers and documents in a safe place. Put into practice escaping hastily and securely, i.e. practice immediate escape, once the abuser starts to attack. The children should also practice escaping if there are any. Keep a code word, i.e. creating a word or a phrase to use as a signal when in danger, and informing the others, e.g. children, friends, neighbors and colleagues (HelpGuide, 2008a).
Conclusion
It can be concluded the domestic violence is an issue that should not be ignored. The harsh consequences of domestic violence should be taken into consideration when witnessing any signs of such cases. The proposed solution outline the importance of asking for help and leaving immediately, rather than staying and dealing with violence alone, especially if such cases were repeated before.
References
- HelpGuide. (2008a). Domestic Violence and Abuse: Help, Treatment, Intervention, and Prevention. HelpGuide.org. Web.
- HelpGuide. (2008b). Domestic Violence and Abuse: Warning Signs and Symptoms of Abusive Relationships. HelpGuide.org. Web.
- Hope Foundation. (2008). Fighting for Women and Children against Domestic Violence Crime. Hope Foundation.
- Washington Domestic Violence Attorneys. (2009). Consequences of a Domestic Violence. Jim Newton Law.